Will I ever not be busy?

Sometimes I take off my wedding ring and put my engagement ring on alone and try to remember the two months or so that I just wore the engagement ring and it's hard to even remember. That was only 5 months ago. It feels like forever.

This weekend JCPE worked for hopefully the last full weekend in a while (ie: morning - 3am both days) so I've been home. I finished Twin Peaks, I made two curtains and re-covered two pillows (and stared at my couch for a while trying to think about our color scheme). I found a bunch of new pictures to put into frames. Our friend Natalie gave us the most thoughtful card, it's two animals in a boat (I think a cat and an owl) and there is such nice stuff written inside that I had to frame it. You can't read the inside, but I know it's there.

Reception planning is going well. It's difficult to articulate what they are exactly but either way I think both parties are going to be very very fun! I've been looking at the pictures from Indika's wedding and I'm so excited to party with my friends! What I'm excited about is the excuse to just get together!

I have a lot more on flickr from my CSA (although someone I live with deleted this week's picture, like he deleted all the pictures from election night 2008 because he assumed I had saved them, will always be a little sad about that). It's also totally official, I'm sick of kale.

I booked two flights for the next few weeks. A weekend in Charlotte for my mother in law's birthday and a weekend in NOLA for the New Leaders Council. I'm excited to do both things. Actually, right as I typed this Ally McBeal had a dream about a plane crash. I watched it twice. It's ok. It really just has to be. I've been terrified of flying for about 5 years. I was ok immediately after 9/11, then the first year JCPE and I were together something changed. I flew from NY to Vegas to ATL to Orlando (where his parents are) for new years. Then to Philly (which I think was the flight that did it, it was small and bumpy) then to London. My whole two weeks in London I was like, I don't want to go back, I'm scared. Then that flight was the first where I really self-medicated and tried to sleep it off. Since then, what? I've read all the books, talked to a lot of people, and been on a lot of flights. All over the US many many times. I've gotten A LOT better. I just flew to Vegas and back totally alone.

I think I hit the mark last weekend. I didn't go to the movies for a while because of bedbugs. One stupid person on the Astoria blogs said they saw one at our theater and I didn't go for like a year. So finally I went and JCPE was so happy. Like, so happy. I'm a jerk. He loves movies, I need to go with him. So I realized, finally, that doing something for me means making JCPE happy, means making my friends and family happy. It means traveling and going to the movies. There is a lot I am afraid of, but I think I'm finally learning that life is funner when you're not afraid.

The initial point I wanted to make is that I feel busy all the time. I have a ton to do with the charities I'm involved in, there's a lot to do at work and at home, but I'm happy. I'm so super happy. I like being busy, I also kind of like complaining about it. In a counting my blessings kind of way.


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