That's me! How old was I in that picture? 2? However old I was I was really proud that I could do things myself! I'm also proud to say that 27ish years later I still don't need glasses but every once in a while I fake it for fashion's sake!
I'm changing my name.
I'm adding the P and keeping the TVS, so I'll have four names. JCPE has four... why can't I? I can. I can do whatever I want, technically.
But I'm going by TP, officially.
I have always, always wanted to do this. I have expected to since I was very young, I don't think I even flirted with not changing my name. I think it is important to understand that name changes are a big deal, they take a long time, they're expensive ($10 a pop for 'official' copies, of which you need a zillion, ugh) and there is a lot of ground to cover (think of all the things you can't do when your ID doesn't match your cc). If it's what you want I suggest jumping in with two feet, or head first, or just diving gracefully into it!
I understand not wanting to do it. Especially now, when I've developed a branded TS life. I had to change my twitter and my website will eventually change too. I understand being angry that the girl always is the one to change her name, that makes some women feel that they are being treated unfairly by tradition. The idea that the tradition of taking on the family name of your husband would hurt you, hurts my heart. Literally, I'm sitting here and my heart aches a little. It might not have been a choice in the past, but it is a choice now. Couples who choose to spend their lives together get to pick and choose the traditions they want (Christmas tree. You betcha. Nativity? Not so much.) and I think it is beyond exciting to be at the doorstep of a life together. I'm excited and grateful, every day. I choose this tradition.
The women in my family do this: They ditch their middle name, scoot the maiden name over, and add the married name. Then later they give one or two of their children the maiden name as a middle name. For example, I am First Name, Grandma's First Name, Last Name... my sister is First Name, Mom's Maiden Name, Last Name. So Blair got the Finch in her name. A name that she plans to pass on to her children, a name that I would also like to pass onto mine in some way.
The women and men in JCPE's family do this: The children are given a first middle and last name, then when they are older they are given the choice to add the Mother's Maiden Name to the end of their name. That's why he's JCPE (while his brother's name ends in P, he didn't add on the E). The P is his last name, which is why it's now mine. The E is his mom's maiden... are you with me? So our children will be P's growing up and when they are old enough they can be PS's if they want.
Isn't that cool? There are a lot of choices.
The #1 reason that I changed my name is because I am starting a family. This is a family. It's little, family for 2 please! It will grow (nooot anytime soon, simmer down) and to me having that name is so important.
I know who I am. I am Taylor Victoria Stirek Pineiro, I am also a Finch, a Bisch, a Pomajbo, a Gralla and generations of family names that come from many different countries and backgrounds. I represent a long line of women that loved and were loved strong enough to start their own beautiful family, it's my turn.
This picture KILLS ME, it almost makes me cry there is so much love in it! It reminds me of a time when we were very first starting to date. Our first official outing was going canoeing at a lake somewhere else... this precursors the canoeing event years later when we had to carry our boats across a road a few time and I legit lost a shoe. We were brand new dating. It was us, Vic and Evelyn and Chris and Peter.
I remember being in the car and someone talking about cameras and how they wish they had remembered to bring theirs. JCPE and I were squished in the back seat in one of those super safe configurations that you do when you're young and don't care. We were holding hands as someone said "I wish I had that camera!" and JCPE looked at our hands and whispered "I wish I had a camera right now." Instantly, I was in love with him. There was no turning back from that.
The ride there was really fun, the day was beautiful. I proudly showed off my Juan ring that we got at the Chelsea Flea Market a few years ago.
We realized only the day before that the wedding was the same day as the MS walk. I totally support supporting the MS walk, but we were relieved to know that the walk ended at 1pm so we missed any concert series or cheering or whatnot that was going on.
The Seaport is very special to me. I lived half a block away at 200 Water Street when it was an NYU dorm for two years in college. I LOVED it. I was an RA, I had this HUGE studio on the 9th floor with a beautiful view of the Brooklyn Bridge. The first summer after Florence I was staying at Water Street and studying Art History so I decided the best thing to do would be to get a job at the closest museum. I walked to the office of the Seaport Museum and the manager, Patrick Glynn interviewed me for a position. Everyone else was in highschool, I think it paid around $7 an hour and mostly entailed standing by doorways and greeting guests. I loved it.
I learned a lot about the history, completed my Senior project on the area and try to go back when I can. When it came time to find a boat I contacted Patrick, who, after all these years is still so willing to step up and help whenever necessary. He no longer works at the museum but just so happens to work for New York Water Taxi. He got us a great deal, the entire taxi, champagne, a tour around the harbor for an hour! His staff was phenomenal and everything went off without a hitch!
It's such a magical thing to get married in a place you can go back to over and over.
This is JCPE trying to find Celia. We had never met in person so there was a lot of "We look like we're getting married!" and "I am near the stage!" back and forth.
Eventually, we found each other. For legality's sake we held a quick ceremony on the pier... That's up next!
I catch myself sometimes wanting to find a reason to regret our decision. There's still a lot of confusion, people are coming around slowly... but then I think about my wedding day. And I smile. It's uncontrollable. I told JCPE that my smile changed that day, it's bigger, brighter and I'm so much happier than I ever have been. I loved my wedding day, I love my husband. We're promised pictures tonight and when we get those you will get your stories!
Until then, I drew this picture.
If I thought eloping was hard while I was doing it I wasn't really prepared for how lonely it would be once it was all over. I genuinely thought that people would want to know what had happened, that they would reach out and want to talk about it! I'm here and I WANT to talk about it! I love answering questions and telling funny stories about the process! But, for the most part, it's been not only radio silence but the weird feeling that the topic is being avoided.
This, I think is sad. It makes me sad. I've kept this process to myself for so long and now that I'm aching to talk about it there haven't been any opportunities. JCPE is trying to make me feel better... he's totally right, we did this usually public thing very privately and I guess that just takes a while to understand that it was about me and JCPE, but our entire life going forward is about our friends and family and each other and everyone working and celebrating and living this life together. What we did doesn't at all mean that we don't want to share our life with our loved ones.
I think it will just take some time. I'll keep encouraging people to read the blog (because the answers to all the questions really are here) and once we send some save the dates for our celebrations in NY and Las Vegas maybe that will encourage people to want to talk about it, and it will feel more real! I hope so, because I'm SO HAPPY and I want to share that with everyone!
Evelyn, I can't wait to see you!
Jamie and Belinda it was great skyping with you last night! The only future technology that really terrifies me is the prolific use of video chat, I'll need a production designer for my life!
I'm talking to you on the phone right now. I love you so much.
I wish we had more time together. I really think that there is a chance we will love close to each other someday. Maybe when JCPE and I have kids we can work something out. I hate being so far from you. I can't wait to work with you to plan our reception in Las Vegas!
I am so lucky to have such a wonderful mother who has always supported me unconditionally in all the crazy things that I do! Thank you for letting us do this additional crazy thing! I know you understand, with all the pressure of getting married we wanted to nip it in the bud and just spend our time with friends and family celebrating as work-free and stress-free as possible!
I feel like out of all my people you are the one who will understand this the most. I think at some point I thought that I wanted a big wedding, did I dress up like a bride? I don't really think so. Eventually those dreams became blurred and I just couldn't see myself in a huge wedding gown. Not this face, not me, it doesn't feel like me. I think you might know that already.
So here I am, doing the most crazy thing that I've ever done, and I'm only able to do it because I have so much love from the most amazing family ever.
Thank you for giving me the courage to be myself. Thank you for loving me so much that you let me go 10 years ago secure in the knowledge that I was never really that far away.
I love you. Be safe & I will too.
I'll say three things about the Royal Wedding
1. Kate looked beautiful as did Pippa, William and Harry looked very handsome.
2. My wedding was planned first, for real.
3. I think it's nice to take a moment and be happy for other people, it's hardly ignoring all the problems in the world to watch the Royal Wedding. They mentioned it in their ceremony, they know that there's a lot going on, but they wanted to get married. The position that Duchess Catharine is in right now is a really really amazing place to become an inspirational humanitarian. With Princess Diana's footsteps to follow she can really do a lot of good from there. I've often thought that all the disadvantages of living a public life can be balanced out by working for the public good, I look forward to seeing what she does.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand also oh today is my last day as a Stirek.
I. Am. Excited.
All I think I really have to do is get an ipod mix together.
I spoke to Celia, I ordered the car for Sunday, I have to do Newark parking but other than that I'm ok. Like, we're going to be ok.
I hope that you guys understand why we did this. We love each of our friends and family so very much and we are really looking forward to spending time with you. This ceremony has been so exciting to plan, I can hardly believe that it's tomorrow! Thank you for loving us enough to understand why we wanted our ceremony to be private!
I looked over these blogs the other day and I'm a bit concerned that you are all going to see it as just girl drivel about shoes (there's a lot about shoes). I beg you to take into account that the only two people that I can talk to about this are JCPE and my therapist. Literally, my therapist the other day was like, you can call me anytime... because she can see the pressure getting to me... probably because I was laying sideways in my chair with my head back and my hands pressed against my eyes for 45 minutes on Tuesday. Maybe that.
I'm also concerned with the terminology of a 'real' wedding. I'm fond of saying 'when I grow up I want to...' Like, when I grow up I want to marry JCPE! Well, I have like 16 days. And I often want to say... Well if this was a 'real' wedding I'd be talking about clothes with my girlfriends and not just to a blog that isn't alive yet...
Well enough of that, Taylor. This is a real as it gets! REAL WEDDING. OUR WEDDING. Just the way we want it. Team Pineiro might legit break down before the 30th, but we'll make it! When April started JCPE was like... well... the days are going to happen. Time is going to happen. There is nothing we can do... haha which is true. Communication between the two parties is strong. Home base is strong, things are organized into piles, gifts are in the mail... clothes for the most part fit.
Now onto the next part. The rest of our lives part. It's totally normal to be freaking out a bit before a wedding, it's clearly additional stress on an already stressful life. It's scary. I've thought for years and years that I wanted to be with JCPE forever, and here we are. Forever starts pretty soon, but honestly it started a while ago. I don't expect this to be super simple and easy, but I'm ready for the challenge.
Another problem with not telling people? They think we're going on vacation, so they don't really get why we can't move it, for like, work. JCPE's been working his tail off for his newest film, it's going to be awesome! Like, sooooo good. It finishes filming like RIGHT before we get married. We didn't plan it this way. We put the deposit down for the honeymoon like 8 months ago! Long before he started making the movie.
We're going, obviously because if we don't go we lose a lot of cash-ola we put down on deposits.
Best Case: He's done filming and can chill out
Worst Case: He's not, and he's thinking about the movie all the time
Dear Juan Carlos,
I love you. I love that we're going away for a week to be alone in the desert and think about our life together and plan for the future and be terrified of spiders and snakes and laugh at ridiculousness of our secret. No matter what, we're going to have a great time.
There are so many things that I love about you. One of them is how much you love your profession. It's no secret that I'm jealous. Not jealous that you spend time thinking about work, but jealous that you have a calling and a passion.
I love that you get lost in your work, I think it's fascinating and endearing and so so attractive. The other day when we were walking to dinner and I was thinking chatting away about my day and you were lost in thought I asked you what you were thinking about, you said 'foster care.' Everything about you is so dedicated and good.
Every film you make is an adventure for me too. I'm learning and growing and I'm coming along with you. I look forward to our many journeys together!!
The Director's (almost!) Wife
We. Are. 47. Days. Away.
We're ok we're ok! We're not freaking out!
Kidding, we're freaking out a little. We had a bit of a 'our parents are going to kill us' breakdown this weekend, but I think we're over the hump! (I think)
It's absolutely a dichotomy between worrying that everyone we know is going to be mad and knowing that this is the best thing for the both of us. I think right now I'm in a 'I need to buy more things!' mode and JCPE's in a 'I'm really busy with work' mode! And we're just getting things together. Right now, if I could tell myself anything it would be this:
DO NOT FORGET TO PURCHASE A WEDDING LICENSE!!!
and RINGS! For the love of god Taylor, buy some wedding bands.
Today photographer Lauren Colchamiro who took pictures of JCPE for The Daily Brink a while ago asked for Yelp help and I clicked through to her profile and found this:
It reminded me of how I went to the GAP during the before holiday sales and picked out 2 for $30 sweaters, and there wasn't much happening at work so I was taking my time, an dhow it really took a long time to find the right ones. I ended up both itchy because I'm allergic to most sweater materials and covered in fuzz from throwing myself onto the pile of mens sweaters a few times to find the right one.
Juan and I never wait until the actual holidays to give each other gifts. Even if I can manage to get a few gifts wrapped and in a pile I still give them to him one at a time in the days before leaving us with heartfelt hugs and cards on the actual holiday. I'm so glad I gave JCPE all the spices and popcorn flavors I bought him for Valentine's day about a week before because they would have felt downright silly after all that amazing Valentine's day I got!
I need to get JCPE a wedding outfit... 2 months from now we'll be on a plane to our honey moon!! eeek!