If I thought eloping was hard while I was doing it I wasn't really prepared for how lonely it would be once it was all over. I genuinely thought that people would want to know what had happened, that they would reach out and want to talk about it! I'm here and I WANT to talk about it! I love answering questions and telling funny stories about the process! But, for the most part, it's been not only radio silence but the weird feeling that the topic is being avoided.
This, I think is sad. It makes me sad. I've kept this process to myself for so long and now that I'm aching to talk about it there haven't been any opportunities. JCPE is trying to make me feel better... he's totally right, we did this usually public thing very privately and I guess that just takes a while to understand that it was about me and JCPE, but our entire life going forward is about our friends and family and each other and everyone working and celebrating and living this life together. What we did doesn't at all mean that we don't want to share our life with our loved ones.
I think it will just take some time. I'll keep encouraging people to read the blog (because the answers to all the questions really are here) and once we send some save the dates for our celebrations in NY and Las Vegas maybe that will encourage people to want to talk about it, and it will feel more real! I hope so, because I'm SO HAPPY and I want to share that with everyone!
Evelyn, I can't wait to see you!
Jamie and Belinda it was great skyping with you last night! The only future technology that really terrifies me is the prolific use of video chat, I'll need a production designer for my life!
I wanted to say a special thank you to everyone who has left comments on the blog and taken the labor of love it was to read it! Especially to Evelyn, Liz and Katy who reached out to tell me how much they enjoyed it! And to Agnes, Amy and Xin who were stealthy about finding the registry! You are all so wonderful!
I'm really excited to start talking about it! Thank you to everyone who has called and texted and im'ed and asked questions and wanted stories! More stories on the blog to come, and of course celebrations in person but if anyone just wants to chat about it I'm Mrs. Pineiro, and I'm ready!
[caption id="attachment_392" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Taken from Carissa's iphone from the Water Taxi! "][/caption]
Julia: i need a mixer - i freaking made that cake last night with my own bear (ha) hands
me: awww - well I'll get married and get a mixer and I'll pass my old one on to you!(hahahahhahahahhaha)
Julia: why dont you just register for 2 mixers
Julia: (make mine mint green)
hahah! Literally I've been meaning to blog about how the funnest part of the registry was going through the KitchenAid mixers and agreeing immediately on Pistachio! Sorry Hanes, we picked it out days ago!
The registry has been something that we've gone back and forth with but decided that it makes the most sense to give our guests a guide. Initially we bought a book on eloping that ended up being really outdated (like, it listed websites, I feel like any book that lists websites doesn't totally understand the internet). However, some of the advice was solid and the question of a registry brought up some really good points. Are we getting married to get gifts? Of course not. I don't want to over-explain the registry, it exists (this is so hard to write! where is all this guilt coming from!!?) we appreciate our friends and family for a myriad of reasons, and that is all.
So. I'm a relationship person. One thing I learned about relationships (all relationships, not just romantic ones) that I think is important and if not THE rule, at least top 5... is that if you want someone to realize that something is special, you have to tell them. If it's subtle... like 'I'm really looking forward to this!' or you can spell it out like 'listen this is really important to me and it would mean a lot to me if you acknowledged it" and for the most part, people do. Sometimes they can infer but to err on the safe side just tell them.
People aren't mind readers. Especially not mind readers of a person (like me) who is consistently lying to people and trying to act un-excited about a wedding that we're planning secretly. So I literally have JCPE and my therapist to be excited towards. Am I suspiciously not-excited? I won't know until later I guess (Hi Sinead! haha).
Anyway. JCPE and I decided a while ago that we would do out bachelor/bachelorette parties they way WE wanted them to be. So, he flew to the desert and spent a week at Burning Man. And I, with my gnawing desire to just move to a suburb, wanted to have the girls over for a party. Simple. Party at my place, music, wine, cheese, activities that were fun enough to be normal but cutesy enough that I could pass them off for the lack of a shower.
So I planned said affair. I even sent the invite 4 days BEFORE we got engaged, and 7 weeks before the date. Party at my place, bring accessories to trade, bring wine there will be snacks huzzah! Alas, it wasn't meant to be. There was life in the way. Rallies and classes and babies and personal days and it's nobody's fault. I don't always go to parties I'm invited to, I think these days I stay home more often than not. So they didn't know. If I would have told them, they would be here. 110%, but it's been a long week and I totally understand not wanting to come all the way out to Astoria and there's actually a lot going on this weekend in various worlds.
So today, instead of putting on a dress and an apron and being the hostess I so so yearn to be. While my fiance is off making a movie, I will sit on my bike and order wedding rings and a suit for my handsome groom. I finished reading The Westing Game in bed this morning and I will watch Veronica Mars all afternoon and Cleopatra in the evening. I might even open a bottle of champagne later and have a glass or two by myself (ok, I probably will).
Wedding planning has been lonely. It's what we want, it's the way we want and I know in my heart that we're doing the right thing. But today, today this bride-to-be is a little sad.
From now on, I'm accepting more invitations. I want to celebrate anything celebrateable with everyone! Celebrating is important, and I'm looking forward to it!
After this though no more surprises and no more secrets!