I was just thinking about something that happened to me half my lifetime ago that made me feel terrible - and a. I'd like to stop thinking about things that make me feel terrible and b. maybe writing it down will make it less terrible.
And really it's like a .1 on the terrible scale.
When I was a senior in high school I was a waitress at a small mom and pop Jewish deli. One day I wrote the specials board something about separate plates, and I spelled separate wrong. I do this still sometimes - I write seperate. Spell check catches it and I get this flash of memory of this woman asking me if I went to school. I said 'yes actually I just got accepted to NYU!' and she said 'Did they make you spell separate on the application?' I didn't know what she was talking about at first and just laughed it off. When I realized I felt horrible and embarrassed.
I hate the things that stick with you over the years. I got mad at someone on the train the other day and muttered something mean - I wish I hadn't done that either - but all I can do is move on and try to be nicer than that lady was to me and nicer than I was to the stranger on the train and just be nicer.