A rough little weekend

Everything is fine - great actually! I felt myself sliding a little bit into depression this weekend and have done steps to nip it in the bud. My stomach hurts and I'm tired, but mentally - I'm proud of pushing through what could have been really really bad - and of course it's not over. Screen_Shot_2015-02-08_at_8.34.58_PM.png

Saturday morning after a really rough week at work (honestly it is really hard to be back after three months - it is hard to come back to work after a 2 week vacation so obviously there are going to be speed bumps and growing pains after three months of thinking 100% about Flo and 0% about work) Flo was screaming her little head off and I was checking email. It happened that I heard from two friends at the same time about their troubles conceiving. I was holding this screaming thing and feeling such an overwhelming mixture of sadness and joy. My heart breaks for my friends - I am so lucky to have a little screaming muffin. 

Our mama / daughter nap on Saturday lacked the enthusiasm from my side that it had before. It actually kind of felt like 'laying in bed because you're depressed.' When I first was pregnant I saw a Social Worker at the hospital since I have a history of depression (that I control with medication) and she said that women who have been depressed often are able to get through postpartum depression because they can recognize the signs. 

I told Juan at dinner last night. Right away he jumped on the things that could help me. My family started calling and I made plans to go for a walk today. In the last 24 hours I've spent time outside - held Flo while she cried - got my shit together for the week ahead - and spent a lot of time talking to my family and friends. I actually feel really good talking about it. For me with my depression I only got on the road to feeling better in the first place because I finally acknowledged it. 

I also bought myself an iphone 6 - because we're a 'feel better by shopping' family. 


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    commented on A rough little weekend 2015-02-09 13:52:20 -0800
    Thank you for being so open on your blog. Working motherhood has so many potential road bumps. I am inspired by your honesty and courage.