So. I'm a relationship person. One thing I learned about relationships (all relationships, not just romantic ones) that I think is important and if not THE rule, at least top 5... is that if you want someone to realize that something is special, you have to tell them. If it's subtle... like 'I'm really looking forward to this!' or you can spell it out like 'listen this is really important to me and it would mean a lot to me if you acknowledged it" and for the most part, people do. Sometimes they can infer but to err on the safe side just tell them.
People aren't mind readers. Especially not mind readers of a person (like me) who is consistently lying to people and trying to act un-excited about a wedding that we're planning secretly. So I literally have JCPE and my therapist to be excited towards. Am I suspiciously not-excited? I won't know until later I guess (Hi Sinead! haha).
Anyway. JCPE and I decided a while ago that we would do out bachelor/bachelorette parties they way WE wanted them to be. So, he flew to the desert and spent a week at Burning Man. And I, with my gnawing desire to just move to a suburb, wanted to have the girls over for a party. Simple. Party at my place, music, wine, cheese, activities that were fun enough to be normal but cutesy enough that I could pass them off for the lack of a shower.
So I planned said affair. I even sent the invite 4 days BEFORE we got engaged, and 7 weeks before the date. Party at my place, bring accessories to trade, bring wine there will be snacks huzzah! Alas, it wasn't meant to be. There was life in the way. Rallies and classes and babies and personal days and it's nobody's fault. I don't always go to parties I'm invited to, I think these days I stay home more often than not. So they didn't know. If I would have told them, they would be here. 110%, but it's been a long week and I totally understand not wanting to come all the way out to Astoria and there's actually a lot going on this weekend in various worlds.
So today, instead of putting on a dress and an apron and being the hostess I so so yearn to be. While my fiance is off making a movie, I will sit on my bike and order wedding rings and a suit for my handsome groom. I finished reading The Westing Game in bed this morning and I will watch Veronica Mars all afternoon and Cleopatra in the evening. I might even open a bottle of champagne later and have a glass or two by myself (ok, I probably will).
Wedding planning has been lonely. It's what we want, it's the way we want and I know in my heart that we're doing the right thing. But today, today this bride-to-be is a little sad.
From now on, I'm accepting more invitations. I want to celebrate anything celebrateable with everyone! Celebrating is important, and I'm looking forward to it!
After this though no more surprises and no more secrets!