I get that a bunch of my friends are well, all different ages. I used to think age mattered so much, but I know now that it really doesn't. I learned so many things in my 20s that weren't really age-specific (other than that big 2-1) they were just experiences. Experiments in city living, friendship beginning and some really big friendships ending, finding the man I was going to marry right in my circle of friends all along, gaining a new beautiful family when I met his... They could have happened anytime but they happened in my 20s. I'll remember it as a decade of intense heartbreak and intense love. It was a very personal time. I will (try my hardest) to never regret where I am in my professional life. It happens when it happens... I've been growing every day.
I feel sometimes that I'm meant to be an old lady. Everything these days seems so rushed and I just want to slow down and enjoy it. I want to spend more time with JCPE, go for longer walks and grow a garden. I also am struck with the biggest wave of baby fever I have ever had. I want to be a young enough old lady to hang out with my grandkids for a while. I have some friends who are expecting their third and others who recently found out it would be impossible for them to conceive. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know that I'm looking forward to new challenges.
Over Memorial Day weekend we stayed at a house in the Hamptons with friends, we had a lovely time. There was a large porch that overlooked a pool it just ASKED you to jump in it. We all politely agreed not to, then on the first night I'm napping (like I do) and I hear a splash and yelling and a lot of "I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THAT!!" I mean I didn't have to be psychic to know who it was who jumped off first!
I was angry. I said things like 'Don't be dumb I need you!' then I thought to myself, self, you never do anything adventurous isn't that the root of your problem? Indeed. So I said, FINE you want to jump off second story balconies I'm going to too!! Everyone had left at this point, which was for the best because I needed 30 minutes to psych myself up. I jumped around, I made JCPE play 'Stronger' by Kelly Clarkston three times. I took off all my clothes stood on a ledge and screamed THIS IS A METAPHOR!! To his credit JCPE just looked at me in wonder and smiled the whole time. Finally, he had to go so that I could. My husband jumped off a ledge and I followed, nude, about 20 seconds before our friends walked in the door! Just in the nick of time!
Aren't the good things often like that though?
You're ready when you're ready.
It happens when it happens.
As long as it happens.
And I think in my 30s it all will.
I'll start tomorrow. Happy almost Birthday to me!