Lately I've been thinking about how I'm going to help the baby be a good friend - and recognize which of her friends are worth her time and attention. I've had some pretty abusive friendships in the past and I don't want to expose my daughter to something like that - but of course I also want her to make her own mistakes and own decisions.
I know I have a lot of time before this is a thing but I was leaning towards telling her to make sure she is happy - and to no feel guilt for choosing to move on from a friendship that isn't working. My mom once told me that she always knew I'd get out of my 'bad' friendships on my own - but I don't know if I always have - and sometimes it involved years of abuse until I found the courage to leave. I want the baby to know that moving on is always an option.
I also never wanted to act like I didn't have good times with people who I'm not friends with anymore - I did and it wasn't easy to choose to lose both the bad and the good.
I found this quote today from Daniell Koepke that does a way better job of saying what I want to say.
Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.
Four piece bff necklace available here - but girls there is no way that ends well!