I AM NOT PREGNANT AMERICA!
I just got so deliciously worked up today about people staring at my tummy. Today I wore a dress that looks freaking awesome on me when I have a little meat on my bones. It's tight - and it shows that I have a tummy. Just because I have one does not mean I'm having a baby. If it was just me feeling bad about myself I could live with that - but people - real people outdoors talk about it all the time. Why?
I could stand up straighter and suck in more and run at all and eat less but fuck I'm busy. There might come a day when I'm fit again but it isn't today, and it isn't tomorrow. I've had a flat tummy - and the irony is that a lot of the time when I did I had someone in my life telling me I was fat everyday anyway.
I'm fat as a pig and I haven't had my hair done in months - but I'm happy- really happy. It probably shows. - Holly Golightly (As Audrey Hepburn who was never fat ever)
Fuck feeling like I have to drink at parties (I mean obviously I drink at all parties) but feeling like if I didn't have a drink in my hand people would question. Come to think of it fuck you person who asked another person if I was pregnant when I went on Weight Watchers and didn't drink excessively at a party. Circle. Problem.
Fuck you kid on the train who asked me if I'm having a boy or a girl last week. I know you felt bad - but I'm certainly not the most pregnant looking person on this train - plenty of dudes on here look like they could be having twins - but nobody will ever ask them. Fuck you lady at Good Will who thought it was ok to exclaim ARE YOU PREGNANT!?! No. I'm Not. Don't apologize - just know for next time - never ever say that to someone. Fuck you guy who looked at my tummy and said 'does that mean you're married? I don't care if you're pregnant I'll take you out to dinner anyway!' Fuck you lady who thought you were teaching your son a lesson by making a big deal about him getting up off his subway seat to give it to me last year - you were proud of yourself for being a good mother. But what was I supposed to do?
I just want to be left alone - allowed to get puffy in places without social commentary. Allowed to eat whatever and wear whatever and feel ok the entire time.
Today I thought about the rest of me. I rather like my tush, my waist part (above the tummy) tucks in quite nicely, I'm busty - which I personally prefer in a lady, my nose is adorable and I have great hair.
I have more things to worry about (like cleaning my mirror - clearly). When I look at this picture and look in the mirror I feel totally fine. Other people who for some reason need to stop and stare - I wish you would stop - but if they don't I'm going to shake it off and not let it bother me anymore. I'm done feeling bad about my wiggly bits. I actually sort of like them.